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DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, I don't play one on the radio, I don't self-diagnose on WebMD and I did NOT stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
(I'VE ALWAYS WANT TO BE A RODEO CLOWN)
With that said, I believe I suffer from MAN-O-VISION! There is no telling how long this disorder has been around but it afflicts ALL men to varying degrees. While I believe I have a mild case of it, some men are much worse off. Earlier today, it happened to me again.
There I was in LEEKERS Family Food on a mission to find cupcakes. Seems like an easy enough task, right? Walk through the front door, head to the bakery, locate cupcakes and check out. Step 1 and 2 were easy....it was step 3 where my Man-O-Vision set in. I saw all forms and manner of delicious, sugary confection. Donuts, muffins, cakes, pies, rolls, bread, giant chocolate chip cookies, regular sized cookies, macaroons (which, by the way is that a cookie or a confection?). I even saw the sign directing me to where the ice cream cakes were located, BUT NO CUPCAKES!!
Surely, this was a mistake! Surely, there were cupcakes! I looked left where confections eventually gave way to energy drinks and sandwiches. I looked right and the confections disappeared off into a horizon of watermelons and the rest of the produce section. WHERE ARE THE CUPCAKES?
I did another lap around the bakery....then another ....then.......OKAY, WHO PUT THOSE CUPCAKES THERE?? Those were not there a few seconds ago. Alas, I was in denial. I realized that MAN-O-VISION had reared it's ugly head again. Those cupcakes could have been on fire, with neon signs all around them and dancing girls and clowns pointing at them....and I still would have missed them.
So ladies, the next time your man is standing in front of the fridge with the door wide open, swearing that what ever it is you sent him there for, is not there......take it easy on him. MAN-O-VISION is a real problem and only with patience and understanding can we deal with this affliction that for now, has no cure.
Till next time.