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  • You be Judge Kellie.

  • I need an Apprentice.

    I need about 20 contestants. You will shadow me for 16 weeks. You will scour the internet non stop looking for content for my radio show. You will contact companies looking for goofy prizes to give away on my show. You will take calls from listeners after the show, answering questions or apologizing. You will be in the studio 15 minutes before me with 2 pairs of headphones and 2 cups of coffee. One black and one with cream and sugar. You will have news laid out for Kellie in little piles by subject. You will have the weather forecasts in place with the current temperature. You will brief Brian & Kellie on the following: Has anything burned down? Has anyone been assassinated? Are we in another war? Plane crash? Slick streets? School closings? Anything that will allow me to skate in just seconds ahead of 5am. This will allow me to sleep as late as possible. I also require a great pen and highlighter. Position it just to the right of the board along with a pair of scissors. Find me a paperclip. Place it there too - I often need a paperclip. Turn up all the lights. At my age I need all the light possible. Oversee anything printed on a computer, and be sure to use 16 font size. This way I won't strain to read. Watch the phones for the little lights and gently nudge me when the calls come in - I may be looking the other way. Don't speak a lot. Doing what I do requires too much concentration to engage me in much conversation. How about you raise your hand. I will fire one contestant per week. If, at the end of it all, you are the last person standing, you will be awarded a job paying minimum wage. The job will last till probably 4 or 5pm, long after I've gone for the day. This job comes with no guarantee. If you begin to irritate me, you will be told to leave immediately. E-mail me to apply. The contest begins when I have 20 applicants. Brian Pierce is an equal opportunity employer.

  • Behold!!!! - THE PIZZA CONE!

  • I love Radios as much as Radio.

  • 26 Lanes - 2 Open

    Go to any large retail outlet. They have multiple checkout lanes. Let's use my local Target for example. Saturday late afternoon - just 8 days prior to Christmas - 26 lanes, 2 open. How could this be? Why go to the expense of building all those lanes with little conveyors & cash registers - then stock them with bags - and not use them? Is there a time this retailer feels they might be busy enough to open all 26? If it's not 8 days prior to Christmas - when would this magic 26 lane day be? Question is, was this Target busy? Yes. The 2 lanes that were open had shoppers 10 deep. The lines stretched out and to the side. Management finally noticed and sent in a backup. A singular backup. One person to open one more lane. This puts their open checkout percentage to a staggering 14%. This then creates the rush for the open register. The people that bolt the soonest make the new line, often coming from deep in the previous lines. People should be checked in the order they arrive at the checkouts - the way retailers open new lanes creates a rush and hard feelings between shoppers. 26 lanes. Where are the checkers? I knew before I went shopping. They aren't even at the store. They are home on a day off. Those that are on the property - are elsewhere in the store, stocking, straightening up or cleaning. Companies are doing more with less. It's business in 2011. These retail employees aren't doing anything wrong. They're trained to do what they're told. They'd head to the front to check out customers if they were told to do so. But they won't be - ever. The 26 lanes will not be open all at once ever again.

  • I like Starched Shirts

    I like starched shirts. There are two things I believe are the little things that make life worth living - starched shirts and drinking straws. I like starched shirts more, because I could slurp from a cup or glass, but I couldn't go on without starched shirts. If I lost everything and lived under an overpass, I'd crawl from my cardboard box home - wearing a heavy starched shirt. I'd beg for money during the day, then walk to the cleaners. I'd walk in - the employees would be startled because of my un-washed appearance - as I presented them with my pile of button down dress shirts. They'd ask, "Do you want starch?" I'd respond, "Of course - make it heavy, ya know I live under that overpass down there, and I don't want to look wrinkled sleeping on the pavement." I'd then pay with the change I collected from generous people. It's just occured to me - I need a sign that says "Help me starch my shirts." I wouldn't have it say "Will work for starched shirts", because I would have no intention of working, it's why I'm under the overpass in the first place.

  • LBJ Orders Pants. Yes. Lyndon. On the phone.

  • FPO

    The Best Use of College Textbooks.

  • This Lottery Story has it all!.

    So an alleged illegal immigrant wins $750,000 in a lottery, but because he's, you know, illegal, he asks his boss to cash it for him and then give him the proceeds. At least, that's his story. And after the boss didn't give him the money, he allegedly threatened the boss and his family, landing in jail, while, in turn, he sued the boss for the proceeds. So this story has a Jingle Jumbo Bucks win, terroristic threats, illegal immigration, and a lawsuit. That's almost too much for one story.

  • FPO

    Iron Man goes to the Bathroom.

  • Let's Eat the Couch Cushions.

  • The 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game - for Tuesday!

    The 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game.

  • FPO

    Red Lobster and Olive Garden at the same time!!!!!!

    Red Lobster & Olive Garden share a parent company. In Florida, they have combined the two restaurants into one location. Is this a great idea? Maybe. What restaurant pairings would you like to see?

  • Do Nothing for 2 Minutes.

    Do nothing for two minutes. Can you do it?

  • Hello Senator. How's it hanging?

    Is it significant that the Virginia state Senator who is pushing a bill to have sex offenders castrated is named Emmett Hanger? Can't make that up, folks.

  • Determine the perfect Career for you - by choosing colors.

    Click here for the Color Career Test. Really Cool.

  • Just in time for the Superbowl - OLD SPICE MAN IS BACK!

  • Wanna see a UFO? Me too.

  • FPO

    The biggest handgun in the world.

    I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a "Raging Judge" the most powerful handgun in the world, that fires 28 guage shotgun shells, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

  • KFDI Great Moments in Broadcasting!!!!

    KFDI's Mark Lavioe is the lastest GMIB Recipient!

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